As Ever...Coverage of Meghan is Deeply Unserious

From "using the kids for clout" to "plagiarizing a small Mallorcan town"

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In a surprising Monday night drop, Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex announced in an IG reel from her garden in Montecito that American Riviera Orchard is now As Ever, in partnership with Netflix.

Now, there could be an interesting conversation over how Meghan framed the switch, which is probably related more to the trademark issue than feeling like ARO was limiting what she could do with the brand. Honestly, it’s probably a bit of both. Something that could have been a potential blunder has, so far, been pretty well-managed into a meaningful pivot.

Kensington Palace crisis PR could take some lessons.

Nevertheless there is no room for serious examination when you’re talking about royal reporting.

What I didn’t expect was a ‘Meghan Markle Plagarized’ argument.

U.K. outlets started churning out articles, ready to milk the cash cow that is negative Prince Harry and Meghan coverage.

As Ever…Royal Coverage is Mostly Garbage

There was the predictable body language expert (was the asparagus reader busy?):

TLDR: I don’t know how people successfully connect and create content online.

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“This one might make me throw up”, wrote my super sleuth, Amy, when helping me source articles to use (TY Amy!).

I can see why.

Where to begin. “Using her kids for clout"? You know, the kids we rarely see besides a little hand or the top of a head? The children that we regularly hear Meghan and Harry “hide”?

(whispers) Meghan doesn’t need to use her kids for clout.

From the piece:

“I'm personally rather against people using their children for advertising purposes, especially when their children are officially members of the Royal Family,” he (royal expert) said.

“They've been given princely titles. So, once again it's exploiting the royal side, and also…we don't often see the children. In fact, do we ever see them full on?

“We see the back of the head, occasionally, or we see a hand, or we see something. It's all rather tantalising.

WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY FOR PRINCESS ANNE’S SON

How about the claim Meghan is, “reinventing herself”. She’s returning to her roots, The Tig—which the piece refers to as the, “now defunct Tig”. Technically, yes, but it makes it sound like it was failing—which it was not. I’m also not sure if trademark issues are the same as reinventing herself, but if a ‘royal expert’ says so.

How does Meghan ‘cling to her royal ties’ in this video besides being, you know, a duchess?

“I mean, we watch her because she's married to Prince Harry,” he said.

“That's the reason we watch her, and really the only reason, to be quite honest.”

Because her husband, Prince Harry, hands her the phone and tells her it’s on (off-camera mind you). Yes, that must be it.

The Royal Appointment editor got in on the action for The Telegraph:

Why do they act like she didn’t have to give up her career to marry Prince Harry? (This is rhetorical. Of course it’s because there’s nothing better than marrying into the Royal Family, how could one have anything to complain about?)

She does not use the words “because of the Royal family”, but anyone familiar with Sussex lore is likely to hear it as such.

Ok, you’re admitting to hearing something that she didn’t actually say. Marrying into the Royal Family did change the course of her life—in positive and negative ways. So did the pile-on from the British media. Just like Spare, the media continues to paint The Sussexes as placing the blame on the Royal Family (or attacking the Royal Family). Ultimately a lot of their issues are with the media and the lack of protection from The Firm.

Never mind that the Duchess produced a best-selling cookbook while a working member of the Royal family, that the King is one of the most famous gardeners in the world, or that the Sussexes have been free of royal duties for a full five years now.

You have to be f**king kidding me. Do you mean the cookbook